a couple rainy days in new york

i wonder what cafes she goes to now

i wonder what she talks about during meals now

i wonder if her stories are as crazy as they used to be

each one better than the next and more unbelievable but somehow true

 there’s no grace in the government for a brown man 

 send nudes + poems

 the loneliness of an empty chinese restaurant underground on the lower east side

 you have to have love to make it through this life

every little poem adds up 

no wonder his art was so good

he was with her

and she was the best muse

my time with her

was full bloom

now it’s late june

and the flowers are all dead

the leaves are falling

no wonder his art was so good

he was with her

and she was the best muse

just trying to hold my job down, be a good person, partner, and friend while completely burnt out

in a massive stress loop and a neverending doomscroll

at a café

white people talking too loud

about their business and their profits

on the backs of my people

and my people unable to afford a cup of coffee sit shyly on the outside of the café attempting to use the wifi 

the wifi that is free to those who can afford it 

my friends are having babies and buying houses

i’m just here, still trying to write a poem to send to you

haven’t even got close yet

we would be on the side wall seats

of the local dive bar

and we would be listening to a friend of mine

singing all raspy in hazy smoke

and we would share a cigarette 

and talk

reminder to adventure to cafés with people you love

the thing that scares me most about death is that you might not get to create anything again

how do all these vanilla writers keep getting book deals

the lads at the local

they got a fantasy football league customers and bartenders combined

the bartenders

been here for years

but they still treat every new guest with the same excitement as their first day

they welcome me in

just because i’m around

they invite me around

for bbq’s

they tell me honestly how they feel

never offended by a little “fuck you”

one guy rang the bell

bought us all a round

new server asked for my name

said I have chaotic energy

made me smile

wish all my friends were like

the lads at the local

my favorite villains are just doing something bad in the name of love

i just crushed it on a business deal

and i now have the same feeling as if i just got a kiss on the first date

so, i’m no longer sure what capitalism is doing to me

stuck under the city fog

thinking about the coast

and that day

we went surfing 

tandem

in the cold

you and i 

gooseflesh

paddle paddle paddle

fall

cold water

me and you

sky was so fucking blue

i am of the city now

but I was once of the earth

i was colonized

but then rebirthed

i was force-fed faith

and felt its curse

try as i like

i never really fucked with tame impala

they were your favorite band

a long time ago

but then again

you never really fucked with me

try as i like

i like our trauma bond

spent the days waiting for you to get off work

only for us to fight

and then fuck

and fight again

the days started turning into weeks

and we started turning into wrecks

girl that broke my heart looked jut like you

she said im thinking of you

but i was just thinking about poems

and how shit mine were

but sometimes good

and how to make them better

and what was the message

and how was i going to change the world

with little bits of writing

on scraps of paper

hanging on my walls

and abstract paintings

that nobody would buy

but freed my mind

she said she was thinking about me

but i was just thinking about

how else i could lose my mind

and save some souls with some art

in the process

im a hustler amongst these trust fund babies

and i think they can tell

a friend named connor

was walking the streets

around the lower eastside

early morning

on his phone

went to step across the road

felt a hand on his chest

“don’t go”

it was Morpheus

the actual Morpheus

Lawrence Fishbourne

saved his life

because two suburbans flew right by

would have taken him to another life

but Morpheus showed him a better way

“stay off your phone man”

and that’s how my friend connor stayed in the matrix

with the rest of us

trying to wake up

- fin -

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